just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
