I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
True but thats because hes a fetus.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
