its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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