BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
She just used a chaser for red wine.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
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