Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
