i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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