Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
wakey wakey hands off snakey
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
