HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Randomize
