Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I need to sanitize my soul.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
