so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize