I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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