Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
