What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Randomize
