I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
