I can't breathe out the right side of my face
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
