return my video game
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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