love makes seman taste better
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize