careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
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