Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
it's like heaven, but drunker
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
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