Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
