omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
