I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
