TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
