It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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