Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
