she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Randomize
