There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Randomize
