Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize