I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
