I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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