Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
