I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
there is glitter all over my balls
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