i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
