Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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