i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Semen is not good for contacts.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Never underestimate the power of titties
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
