Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Rumble strips road head = magical
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
