Where did you get a picture of my penis
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize