The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
