my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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