They should really pass out barf bags in church
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize