I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize