I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I FOUND THE LEGS
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize
