She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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