i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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