he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
