I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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