I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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