We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
