I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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