If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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