I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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