Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
