Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
smell my finger.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you donโt have to recycle anymore ๐๐
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
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