Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
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