We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Randomize