4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
