no, he came in my armpit
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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