I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Michael Bay diarrhea
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Randomize
