I feel like I'm in dance class right now
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
We had to coat check the pizza.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
