I wish I only lived at night.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
